Further proof that European dictators are just two year olds trapped in the bodies of grown men

Funny thing about this mommy blog of mine - I can go days without posting anything about Chicky. It's not that I don't want to write anything about her, I do. That kid is an endless source of entertainment, as most toddler are, and that's what makes it so difficult to write anything about her. She's constantly doing something funny or amazing or supremely frustrating that it's hard to keep up.

Two, in general, is hard. It's hard for me but, more importantly, it's really hard for Chicky. There's growing pains to contend with, like the two shoe sizes Chicky grew this summer alone. There's new words to learn. There's learning how to put the emPHAsis on the correct sylLAble, and getting phrases just right by repeating them 20 gajillion times in a row. There are social norms (in our house we don't throw blueberries into our drinking cups just to watch the milk splash) and mores (it's really not necessary to announce, loudly, every time someone burps or breaks wind) to adjust to.

And then there is the word "No".

Poor Chicky, she hears that word a lot.

"No, don't give your carrots to the dogs."

"No, the couch is not a trampoline."

"No, Mommy's CD's are not to be used as frisbees. Especially not in the house."

"No, the cat is not a trampoline."

"No, you cannot play with the fireplace poker."

"No, Mommy is not a trampoline."

No is bandied about quite a bit in our house, it's just amazing that Chicky hasn't come to believe that "No" is her name.

And just as you might expect, No is quickly becoming one of Chicky's favorite words, second only to the phrase "It's mines!". Or as I hear it, "Ets Meins!". Further proof that I am in fact raising a small dictator.

Also, for more proof of the dictator who resides in my home, this picture that was taken last year and was not I repeat NOT altered or coaxed in any way, should have clued me in to what lay ahead for me.

I swear, this was a fluke. Imagine my surprise when I looked at the pictures after I took them and found this.

"No, Mommy, no!", is also a favorite phrase of hers, whether she's directly referring to me or not. The phrase comes out a lot when her father tries to do something for her. "No, Mommy, no!", can also mean, "No, Daddy, I want Mommy to do it so just step off", just as much as it can mean "Dammit, woman, stop kissing me already" or "I really wanted to use that sharp knife I stole off the counter to cut my own finger off, so give it back."

What's a mother to do?

Two, you are a difficult task master and you make my child's life miserable. Sometimes. But most of the time, Two, you crack me up. I follow behind my child in amazement, wondering just how and when she became this little person and I know you had a lot to do with it. I know it's impossible to stop time, but she's growing and changing so quickly and I wish you could just slow down a little.

Especially since Three is coming up next. And I hear she's a real bitch.