Down with Raffi!

If I have to listen to one more Raffi song, or have to sing "Baby Beluga" one more freaking time I'm going to commit Raffi-cide.

Chicky has decided that nothing, and I mean NOTHING (Capitalized for emphasis. Not over emphasis mind you, because, yeah, I'm Raffi's bitch), should come out of my iPod other than Raffi. Raffi in the morning, Raffi in the evening, Raffi in the Goddamn afternoon. Raffi Raffi Raffi. And if I dare put on some TMBG or Justin Roberts, even Berkner (hey, desperate times), Chicky will have a meltdown of epic proportions. I'm starting to hate that poor, sweet, bearded man.

I didn't always hate him. As kids music went I kind of liked dear old Raffi. I liked his messages, I even liked the religious undertones of his songs. Spirituality without having to get our heathen behinds out of the house early on a Sunday morning, I could dig that. And there have been some crucial times when his songs have come in very handy - like teeth brushing. That "Brush Your Teeth" song has worked like magic to get Chicky excited about keeping her pearly whites clean.

But c'mon. Enough is enough. I kinda wish the "Five Little Ducks" would stay over the river and far away. Screw Mother Duck and her tedious quacking. Quack quack my ass, Mother Duck. These little ducklings gotta get themselves some action.

And maybe the fatties of the "Six Little Ducks" wouldn't widdle waddle so much if they went on duckie Weight Watchers. Stop floating in the river and start paddling.

What was I saying?

Oh, yeah. I'm starting to loathe Raffi.

I don't hate kids music, let's get that straight right now. There's a lot of good music out there for the under three feet tall set and I'm thrilled that I don't have to listen to the music of my youth (you know, when we would beat on rocks with sticks and make maracas out of deer hides and bits of bone) if I don't want to.

But, Aha! There lies the rub. I do have to. Chicky is holding my iPod hostage. Play some Raffi and nobody gets hurt, sucka.

I can't always convince her to listen to other children's music but occasionally I can convince her to listen to some of mine. Especially hard rock from the 80s. But though I love to see my two year old bang her head and attempt devil's horns with her wee fingers I think she may be a bit too impressionable to be listening to "Pour Some Sugar on Me" on a regular basis.

So I started to put together a list of appropriate kids music that won't make their parents' ears bleed.

(Mrs. Chicky and Chicky Chicky Baby, LLC do not make any promises that your ears will not hemorrhage after listening to these songs 152 times in a row. That is the choice you made when you had kids. Proceed at your own risk.)

Feel free to add to this list. I'd love to know what you have on your MP3 players that your kids like to groove to.

Bouncing Around the Room - Phish
Coconut - Harry Nilsson
Rock Lobster - B-52s
Any surf song from the Beach Boys
Yellow Submarine - The Beatles
Crawfish Song - Buckwheat Zydeco
If You Want to Sing Out - Cat Stevens
Send Me On My Way - Rusted Root
I Like to Move It - Sascha Baron Cohen
Who Let the Dogs Out - Baha Men. Find the clean version.

(Yes this song may make you want to slam your head in a window but kids seem to love it. And in my home it's not just a song, it's a way of life.)

(And the video I linked to is all about cute dogs doing things that any dog trainer would be horrified to see! Good times!)

Theme from Rawhide

(Okay I'm making a funny, but this frequently plays in my head when I'm trying to get Chicky moving in the morning.)

Jump Around - House of Pain (That about says it all, doesn't it?)
Shiny Happy People - REM
Walk the Dinosaur - Was (Not Was)
Hooked on a Feeling - Blue Swede (It's not about the song, it's about the Ooga Chuckas)

*******

As with any list, this is a work in progress. I could be updating this for weeks. Whoohoo! Another time suck!