It has happened almost every year for nearly a decade.
It starts in March. Those first tentative steps towards removing a layer here, wearing something slightly more revealing there. Uh uuh. Not so fast. There is work yet to be done. If I start now I'll be more than ready. But, oh, there's more time. Plenty of time.
April is fast on March's boot-clad heels and there is more pressure, so much pressure from the catalogues to the television shows. Hurry, hurry, hurry. Why haven't you started yet? Get moving. Soon, I say, soon. There's more time. Not as much as if it were still March, but there is time. There's still lots more time.
Before I realize it May has shown up and with it the first few days without camouflage. Why didn't I start sooner? I curse myself in the dressing room. Poke. Jiggle. Pinch. I'll leave here and get started right away. But life gets in the way. There are things to be done. And I'm tired. I'm too busy and too tired. Tomorrow. Yes, tomorrow. I'll start tomorrow. There's still a bit more time.
Then it's June and there's no excuse. No more excuses. Hurry. Now. I give it a shot but it's not so easy and every year it gets more difficult. I get frustrated. Maybe no one will notice. I notice. I camouflage. There's very little time until...
July. July?? When did it get to be July? Now it's too hot and I'm too busy and there are cook-outs to attend. Barbecues with potato salad and brownies. Besides, a tan makes everything look better. I tan while no one else is around.
It's now August. What's the point? There's only a couple more weeks left. There's always next year. Yes, next year I'll start earlier. Start now? No. Pass me another brownie. Another plate of pasta salad. There's lots of time. Plenty of time...
If I knew customs wouldn't stop it... I'd send you a brownie just for that lovely post! Then again... my kitchen is in boxes... so you'll have to wait for September! =)
ReplyDeletek
Oh, how I can relate to this post...
ReplyDeleteThis is such a great phrase: April is fast on March's boot-clad heels...
Sigh...right there with you, lady. I've been wanting to join a gym for months now, and things have always gotten in the way to prevent it from happening. I may be able to find time next month, but that's September, and I wonder what the point is by then?
ReplyDeleteNow would you mind passing the brownies?
How very true this post is. It hits the nail on the head if you ask me.
ReplyDeleteBRING ON SEPTEMBER and those bulky sweaters right?
Oh, I hear ya! I actually just joined the gym again for the first time in 2 years. I haven't gone yet because it's still under construction and they haven't officially opened--the perfect excuse for why I'm not exersizing. We'll see if I go when they finally open...by then it will be Fall and I might just say, well, forget it, who needs to exersize when it's sweater season??
ReplyDeleteSo well said!! I was going to run (ha, run!) this spring/summer. Never got that little project off the ground. Next summer will be my 20th high school reunion....maybe I'll try to use that as inspiration to start, um now.
ReplyDeleteI think most of us are on the same exact boat! And it's rapidly sinking because none of us are getting up off our duffs.
ReplyDeleteYeah, thanks for planting that Dream Academy song in my head. Aaarrggghh!
ReplyDeleteI was as unmotivated as anybody to lose weight until I saw photos of myself at BlogHer, and saw them everywhere. There's my motivation right there, and there, and oh look!, there again. Sigh.
I hear you. I really thought I'd spend more time outside this summer, but I haven't. Sigh.
ReplyDeletesummer comes & goes so quickly... and of course, I look the same 50 pounds overweight I did in May. only tanner...
ReplyDeleteand it's so freakin hot anyway, like we're going to excersize in this?
I'm well acquainted with this phenomenon. Sigh.
ReplyDeleteSO funny! I know exactly what you mean. I was in a dressing room on Saturday and I was cursing their unflattering lightening - it's really THE WORST. Nothing makes me feel crappier about myself than store dressing rooms.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, on Saturday they're having a dog training thing at the shelter where I volunteer! I hope I can make it; I'm very interested to learn some things and prepared for my eventual future as a dog mommy!
Get out of my head!! Right this instant!
ReplyDeleteYeah. I had fried potatoes with sour cream for dinner.
ReplyDeleteGod I love my winter clothes.
ps- I am joining WW online.
Every single year, I think maybe this will be the year I finally make a stab at some serious weight loss. And every single year, I find myself approaching my annual visit to my hometown thinking, "Gee, I thought I'd weigh less this time. Oh well, maybe next year I'll blow all the relatives/old friends out of the water with my newly svelte self."
ReplyDeleteWe're leaving on Saturday, so I think it's a little too late to slim down for this year's visit...
The way I see it is if you worry about your weight (or anything, for that matter) constantly, it consumes you. You only have one life...don't spend it looking at the scale and then frowning at yourself. Look at the world around you and smile because you're alive to see it! :)
ReplyDelete(I admit, that was a tad After School Special...sorry)
Shamefully, I go thru a similar routine about shaving my legs! Except it is days, rather than months (she says, hoping no one will know the truth!).
ReplyDeleteOMG. Have you been reading my mind? I do the same thing every year. I didn't even buy a bathing suit until a few weeks ago. I thought I could maybe make it through an entire summer without having to go to a pool!
ReplyDeletethis song reminds me of -- oh, my god, I just wrote that and I'm not even drunk. sigh.
ReplyDeletewhat I was gonna say, before my idiocy so rudely interrupted, was that this *post* reminds me of one of my hands-down favorite songs. hands-down. Simon and Garfunkle. I can't recall the title right now, but it's on the album that has America on it, and it's right before Wake up Little Suzy, and it's all about the seasons. April, come she will... etc.
(I didn't want to cheat and bring g00gle into this. too easy, man.)
anyway. it reminds me of that song, and I like it. and it makes me sad. and I'm crying, and my nose is all red. thanks.
xoxo
Winter. Sigh. I remember Winter. It's hell to live in a state where your thighs are on display year round. Yet another argument for moving back North. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteThank God bermudas are in style this year.
I can sooooo relate!!! Question is, how many consecutive years am I going to do this little dance with myself?
ReplyDeleteCarrie
I hear August is Brownie month so you are good.
ReplyDeleteWe can allllll relate to this dance - loved this post.
And though it's only August, all those catalogs from LL Bean, Lands End, and J Crew keep a'coming!
ReplyDeleteCamouflage and brownies.
ReplyDeleteAmen.
You and I must be kindred because you could have easily been describing me! LOL.
ReplyDeleteTans do help. But I'm as white as a Siberian's behind, so I'd better get the jogging stroller out again. At least the heatwave has let up for now...
ReplyDeleteDitto to you and every comment here...If intentions were weight loss, we'd all be anorexic...now pass the pasta salad...
ReplyDeleteWow, I'm so glad I live in Wisconsin, where I am clad in thick sweaters and baggy pants year-round!!
ReplyDeleteI wish.
Seriously, add another for the "I can totally relate" column. :)
I am so with you on this one. Why work out now? It's just going to get covered up with sweaters and coats in a few months.
ReplyDeleteMakes perfect sense to me:)
I really want a brownie now. (I'll be thinking of one all day...)
ReplyDeleteIf we all feel this way, why can't we just let it go and accept ourselves the way we are? It would be a much happier world if we could all just be who we are and eat the damn brownies!
ReplyDeleteYeah self-acceptance is something I'm far from knowing. i really should be getting my butt in gear but at this point with 17 days until my wedding I figure I'm stuck with what I have. (and am lucky said body works relatively well and is healthy)
ReplyDeleteBrownies and pasta salad? Pass the plate on over here...swimsuit? What swimsuit? I don't own one...What? The gym? What is the gym? *snicker*
ReplyDeleteOh yes, I hear you.
ReplyDeleteAnd now I'm totally ready for the sweaters and concealing garments of fall to hide the pudge. Why won't it get cool already???
best regards, nice info Femdom chastitiy Crazy anal insertions Marriage gay http://www.hotelgolfmajorca.info Best adult movies + review dell and laptop computer Sexy milf pic subaru impreza wrx type r Peugeot 306 forums Immagini paris hilton
ReplyDeleteWonderful and informative web site. I used information from that site its great. »
ReplyDelete