Pick me up.
No, put me down!!
Carry me.
No! Let me crawl.
No, wait. I want to walk.
Thump.
Nope, I want to crawl.
Yay! Look at me, I'm walking!
Thump.
Waaaaaahhhhh.
Feed me!
Feed me more.
Feed me more, more, more.
No! Get that slop away from me.
I want milk.
Get that damn sippy cup away from me, woman. You offend me with that contraption.
I want my bottle.
I want my bottle.
I want my bottle.
I'm sleepy.
Ah Ha! Fooled you. I'm wide awake.
Let's play.
Leave me alone.
I changed my mind. I'm really sleepy.
Wait! Don't leave me.
Hold me while I sleep.
No. Put me in my crib.
Wait! Don't leave me!!
Waaaaaaahhhh!
I need my diaper changed.
Get away from me with those wipey things, woman.
Daddy's home!!
Wheeee!
Get that man away from me.
Look! A dog!
Get that animal away from me.
Kittie!
Hey! Where is the kittie going? I just wanted to hug him. Hard. Around the neck.
Hug me.
Kiss me.
Whack
I'm not sorry I just smacked you across the head, Mama.
I'm going to do it again.
And again.
And again.
Hey! Don't put me down.
Waaaaaahhhhhh!!
Mama.
Mama.
Mama!
mamamamamamamamama....
Cry Whine Smile Laugh Cry Whine Whine Whine
Mommy, why do you always smell like wine?
All too familiar. Especially that sippy cup/bottle business. Still fighting that battle. I'll hand her a sippy, and she'll go to the cupboard and drag out one of the two remaining bottles in there.
ReplyDeleteROFL!!
ReplyDeleteI guess you could smell like worse things..
Daddy's home!!
ReplyDeleteWheeee!
Get that man away from me
- Oh man, I am laughing here and snorting. Em does this every day and each and every day Channing's heart breaks a little. Meanwhile if I go to pee the world comes to and end.
Toddlers. A blast, eh?
*snort*
ReplyDeleteThis is bang-on. But you know that.
Hey, is that my kid you have over there? This is JUST what Pumpkinpie is up to these days.
ReplyDeleteTake and the bottles and sippy cups and you've got me when I have PMS. ;)
ReplyDeleteI want to say it's gets better...and it does in a way...but...well, then they turn 9. :)
I love that...why do you smell like wine?! LOL
ReplyDeleteI think my baby had these exact same thoughts today.
*laughing to the point of collapse*
ReplyDeleteyeahhhh. about the eau de vino - um. yeah.
LMFAO in case you don't know what that means I'm Laughing My Fucking Ass Off!!!
ReplyDeleteLMAO!!!
ReplyDeleteOh you just summed up the bulk of my days at home with Girlie Girlie and don't get me started on what it's like to have an 8 year old.
Thanks for the chuckle.
So cute...sounds a lot like my little guy. It is hard to tell what he really wants sometimes. Keeps me on my toes, but it is pure joy! Fun stuff! Thanks for the giggle!
ReplyDeleteI remember that phase. I spent alot of time smelling like wine too. heehee.
ReplyDeleteLoved this post.
sounds oh so familiar.
ReplyDeleteespecially the part about the vino....
Too, too funny! And right on the mark!
ReplyDeleteare you hanging with eva on the sly? cuz you just described my girl to a "t"... well, you forgot the, "I DO IT!!!" screeched every 3.5 seconds, but other than that... right on target!
ReplyDeleteThat's hilarious, and oh so true.
ReplyDeleteWhen one is actually laughing out loud, a simple LOL will not do. No, I am compelled to spell out the fact that I am laughing out loud here. So great.
ReplyDeleteSunrise Sunset...Sunrise Sunset...
ReplyDeleteSooo long ago and just yesterday...
Gave me a wee shiver I must admit...
Now it is all lipgloss, skipping, songs, friends, sleepovers, and endless adventures outside our home... miss the times when I could have her held captive by me for over a day....
That is too funny. And absolutely spot-on. My toddler does the "I'm sleepy/aha, fooled you!" bit all the time. Sigh...
ReplyDeleteWow. That's where I'll be in a couple years? Yikes, I forgot all about it! I'm scared!
ReplyDeleteI didn't know you were watching my son! Or are they all this frustrating and adorable? My son's other favorite is to end every sentence with "RIGHT NOW!" No matter what he is asking for. Cute, huh?
ReplyDeleteHilarious!
ReplyDeleteI have another verse:
I do it myself!
Waaah! I can't do it!
You try it!
No, I DO IT MYSELF!
(Repeat 517x)
That is so true. Isn't it exhausting? I'm exhausted just reading that!
ReplyDeleteSo funny. SO TRUE. Thanks for the smile!
ReplyDeleteThis made me laugh so hard! Mind of a toddler? Nope, this is my 8 month old to a T but without the walking and dog bits. I guess nothing much is going to change until he starts walking (and we get a dog).
ReplyDeleteI should frame this and hang it in my daugther's room. FRAME this I say. I'm going to paint a big, pink frame and hang this over her bed.
ReplyDelete"I'm sleepy.
ReplyDeleteAh Ha! Fooled you. I'm wide awake."
That's my life summed up perfectly!
Let's cuddle mommy. Ah sweet kisses. Hee hee. I wipe your kisses off. Now chase me.
You know, sometimes I think that since Girlie's toddlerhood, only the vocabulary has changed. The contrariness survives. Sorry to inform you. :)
ReplyDeleteOther than the wine part ('cause we are out of it) this describes my weekend perfectly.
ReplyDeleteMust get more wine...
Love it!
ReplyDeleteCan I add "Poop! Boy do I love to play with poop!"
Damn you crack me up. Hilarious. This is what goes on in my mind all the time, though. I'm indecisive like that.
ReplyDeleteyep. that's pretty much it for us, too.
ReplyDeleteYou've got that down perfectly. Oh the torture!
ReplyDeleteDo you know my Elsie? That is the funniest thing I've seen all day. Why is it funny to read about, and not so much to live?
ReplyDeletehilarious! In our case it's:
ReplyDeleteI'm not sorry I just hit you in the head with your watch, Daddy!
I'll do it again!
LOL!! Mine would be mommy why do you always smell like bloody mary's? LOL.
ReplyDelete